Dry humping can't get you pregnant...can it?
A ridiculous day of work notoriously led to a well earned evening of drinking. Several drinks down the pub later and everyone had left bar me and a male colleague/friend.
"Dinner?"
"Perfect"
A pizza express and a bottle of wine later and the feeling of being content spread through my body. Even more so when the friend offered to pay (was this a date is managed to stumble into or just an over generous friend?). Several bottles of really nice wine later and from what I remember I just grabbed his face. Smooth as ever, my standard pulling technique - although as he didn't pull back in horror I took that as a positive.
Dragging him to several more dingy bars we eventually headed home, and not our separate ways.
Once back at my flat, which I never took anyone to due to its shitness, I realised I was on and out of tampons. Should I also mention unwaxed? But the more serious issue was that I was "on" and was unsure how to solve the problem.
"Put a towel down" was my first thought. Something a friend had once informed me works every time - I'm unsure how keen I was to put a colleague through that and face him the next day.
Chucking a pair of silky pj bottoms at him and riffling through my door frantically for a stray tampon my eyes stopped on a bag of cotton wool balls. Really, am I that rank? Yes, yes I am.
After nipping to the bathroom to adjust myself, I was ready. Ready for what exactly? Urm....
I crawled into bed alongside him, how do I get a spoon without a fork? Needless to say the silky pjs soon came off and we were enjoying several kisses. Several "pushing of the hand aways" later and he got the idea. I am not that kind of lady, well at least not when I'm wearing a man made nappy.
Well at least you can't get pregnant from dry humping...
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