“You’re living with a booooooy” – one of the greatest things that can happen to you, or celebrate when this finally happens to one of your friends.  The pang of jealousy that shoots through you because, well you’re still single and classed as the child amongst your friends disappears, because, they are your friends and you love them. I tell myself.

Living with one boy who you are deeply in love with, differs largely from living with a rugby team of boys at uni  (I really, REALLY, hope).

My third year of university meant living with two other girls, a delight, and 6 boys, 6 lovely but smelly boys. A house of 9 people, 3 toilets (one out of order - permanently) 1 kitchen, 1 lounge, basically 1 giant cesspit.

I think it took a week for the first bathroom to die, 2 weeks for the Kitchen to get destroyed and the girls to refuse to clear up anymore and after one house party, for the lounge to smell like an old pub combined with vomit and weed. I came home on day from uni to find the boys on the sofa and casually telling me they'd seen a rat appear from inside one of the many dead pizza boxes scattered on the floor. Another time we discovered a bucket of sick that had been hanging around for roughly 2 weeks. How did we date this? We presumed and hoped it was from the last house party... I would on occasion come home from uni to find boys sleeping in my bed because my sheets smelt fresh. Smelt fresh. They were fresh, the worry was what the hell did their sheets smell of and when had they last washed them?

Boys poo. They are big poos, that they take their time over and i'm pretty sure, they inspect them as well. Girls don't do this. If anything its actually an embarrassment in front of a boy - with friends there is the exception. I once waited till my male friend left the room for a solid 5 minutes, squeezed one out in the en suit and then when he came in and asked if I pooed, I blamed it on the drainage and clearly stated that ladies didn't poo. He retaliated with "you're no lady Nat" ...Urm thanks???

Id been home with my friend for the weekend and returned to the house at the end of the uni term. The boys all weekend had been deciding how to choose rooms in their next years house, it had actually sounded quite entertaining, who could drink the most, eat the most etc. The etc we found out shortly after we got home. It was such a lovely sunny day and we pulled up on the street and started walking up the stairs that led to our house. Outside we found several bags filled with mince meat. Picking one up for further inspection my friend quickly dropped it, and we decided they must be leaving them in the sunlight for them to gain salmonella and see who vomited the most, or to thaw out. Walking upstairs to my room I caught one of the boys. 

"blah blah blah,how was your weekend? blah blah blah"

"good, blahh blahhh, whats with the bags outside the door?"

"You didnt touch them did you?"

"we picked one up but..."

"..yeah they are bags of our poo that we weighed to determine rooms after the all you can eat dinner"

..........................................

WTF

Boys are gross